You can spank the tar out of em, but you can't spank out stupid

Laine and Eve have been causing a good deal of trouble lately. So the other day, they had their little neighbor friend over and were playing in the basement while I was upstairs with James trying to read. After a while, I noticed that it sounded like water had been running for a while, so I thought I'd investigate. As soon as she hears my footsteps, she screams out, "HIDE!!!" and I see three little naked bums scurrying off to hide under various pieces of furniture. Not reassuring.

"Umm, girls?"

Squelch Squerch. *Looks down at feet*

"Oh my gosh! Why is the whole basement all wet?"

*giggle giggle*

"GET OUT! I can see you! No hiding from mom!"

As it turns out, the girls were trying to make a bathtub out of a laundry basket so that they could take a bath while they watched Snow White. Eve's idea. Of course. They'd been filling up their beach pail and any other toys they could find that would hold water and carrying it from the bathroom sink to the laundry basket, which was lined in a pillow and baby blankets to try to prevent leakage. Well the whole basement was wet and yucky and now it smells bad. When Chris got home, he gave them three sound spankings each.

The next night while I'm at work...

*ring ring*

A disgruntled sounding "Hello?"

"Hey lover, how's your night going?"

"Uhhh you don't want to know."

"What happened?"

"The girls tried to make a bathtub in their bedroom."

"What?! After they got spanked for doing the same thing yesterday?"

"Yup. Not the brightest bulbs."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I bore you mentally deficient children. And I'm sorry you had to clean it up alone!!"

"It's okay. I gave them four spankings this time."

So they haven't tried to make any bathtubs since then, but Laine's been playing these little mind games with me. Like the other day, we were having girls' reading time and we were reading Pippi Longstocking. Both girls were really into the story, but Eve asked me to stop reading for a second while she went to get a blanket. She said "Don't start the story without me!" and hurried off. As soon as she's gone, Laine whispers in my ear. "You don't have to listen to her. She's not the boss of you. Just start reading. You can't let Eve boss you around like that." What a hoot. At least James is still a good boy. Lately, he's been pretending to participate in conversations with us. We'll ask him questions and he smiles and nods or shakes his head and mumbles. It's so cute.

Happy Memorial Day

As the weather has been warming up, we've been spending more and more time outdoors exploring the parks and playgrounds in the area. Today, since it was Memorial Day, Chris took the day off of work and we hung out, played, ate, and got a few errands done.

You would be so proud of James. He's been so mobile and brave lately. The other day, we were at the little playground in our neighborhood and he climbed all the way up the steps, got to the slide, turned on to his tummy and slid down the big twisty slide all by himself without any help. He did cry when he got to the bottom, but he immediately did it again and again so I don't think he minded too much. Just the first two times sort of scared him. Now if only we could get him to say a word besides Mmmaammommummm.Laine's a regular playground pro. She's really psyched about kindergarten. In two weeks, she has a special orientation where she gets to ride the bus and everything. She can't wait.Eve is so funny. When they're not fighting, Laine and Eve say the funniest things to each other at bed time and while driving around in the car. For example, we went out to lunch today and their conversation went like this:

Laine: Eve, will you promise me something?

Eve: Maybe. What's the promise?

Laine: A pinky promise.

Eve: Nope.

Laine: What about a thumb promise then? Would you promise me a thumb promise?

Eve: No, I won't promise you a thumb promise.

Laine: Middle finger promises, then?!

Eve: All right, all right, I'll middle finger promise with you.

Then they hook middle fingers and shake. Later, someone, I can't remember who, said something really clever, I can't remember what, so Chris says, "You guys are so precocious." Laine shouts from the backseat, "HEY! We're not precocious?! Stop saying that.... Uh what does precocious even mean anyway? Is that even a real word?"

Oh, and the "Do Not Wet The Bed" sign totally works! I think I need to post a few more signs around the house. Like maybe ones that say "Stop Leaving Crap Everywhere" and "Don't Go Outside Naked." Things I never thought I'd actually have to remind them of, but do on a regular basis.

I'm a Little Embarrassed to Even Have This Sign Up

Warning! What you read below may shock and appall you! Readers with sensitive stomachs, irritable bowels, or who are prone to nausea when exposed to descriptions of childhood bodily functions and the misuse thereof should stop reading now.

























Yes, what you are looking at is a picture of the sign that we made in order to help a certain member of our family who is literate, but sometimes incontinent, to remember to get out of bed and onto the potty before peeing first thing in the morning. It's kind of ridiculous that somebody who is clever enough to read signs and follow directions still wets the bed about 25-30% of mornings, but we're hoping that seeing this sign upon awakening will remedy the situation.

The girls were really naughty today, especially Laine. She's just been really defiant and pushing boundaries. We've found that sometimes when the girls get like this, it helps to ask them to perform a skit demonstrating good vs. bad ways to behave toward others. Here they're demonstrating how to act good and happy.

Here's they're showing us an example of the type of wild and crazy behavior that is not tolerated in moving vehicles in the Bradley family, yet somehow seems to occur anyway.

And here is James. He's saying, "Look at me. I'm so perfect! I never do anything naughty. Gagagoogoo. I'm so cute."

Happy 5th Birthday, Laine!

Christine: Here's our Laine when she was a newborn baby. I wish I had a picture of me pregnant with her, but I don't. It was the best pregnancy ever! I was super busy and it flew by. I started having early labor a couple of days before Laine was born. At my baby shower that the Bradley aunts threw for me, I was telling everyone how I was so sure I was going to deliver long after my due date and how I thought I was just having some Braxton-Hicks. Well it shows how much I know, because Laine arrived the next day. She was the cutest baby ever, but she yelled an awful lot!

Christian: Yup, she yelled pretty much non-stop for about the first year of her life. As I recall she did take a break at about three months to catch her breath, and another one about six months after that for a graham cracker snack, but it was pretty much perma-yell for a year or so. Fortunately, all that lung power she developed didn't go to waste, she now uses it for her non-stop stream of questions and conversation




Here's our big five year old girl getting ready to blow out candles. She opted for cupcakes rather than a traditional birthday cake and Christine whipped up a great big batch. Christian contributed to the festivities by going to the store for sprinkles.

We went to the Smithsonian National Zoo for Laine's birthday outing. James is usually really good in the sling, but today, he wanted to walk like everyone else. This is a picture of one of the orangutans we saw there.

We saw lots of small mammals, birds, reptiles, tigers, lions, elephants, pandas, you name it!

When we got home, Eve helped Laine open some more presents. She already has a ton of fun presents from our friends and family in Salt Lake, but she got a few more today including a cool set of Lincoln Logs. Christian almost got legos for her instead, but Lincoln Logs hurt your feet less when you step on them and we haven't quite figured out how to get the twin tornadoes to put stuff back in the box when they're through with it.

We ended up bringing home the orangutan from the zoo. Here he is saying, "Oooh oooh ah ah, please take me back to the zoo!"

Happy Birthday, Lainey girl. You're the sweetest five year old ever. You're a wonderful big sister and you're so smart and responsible. We are so lucky to have you in our family. We love you!

Eve's Idea of Inspirational Literature

Ramona Quimby has been a long-time favorite heroine at our house. We've read and re-read most of Beverly Cleary's books to our girls, but the scene that delights them the most is the one in "Ramona and her Mother" where Ramona gets immense satisfaction from squeezing out an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathroom sink.

So today, Eve tried it out for herself. Luckily, Laine, being quicker than Beezus, ratted her out before she was able to squeeze the whole tube out. I considered Mrs. Quimby's punishment of saving the toothpaste in a ziplock bag and making only Ramona use it, but the thought of all those germs hanging out and growing in a bag by the bathroom sink sounded too nasty. Instead, we gave her a stern talking-to with the threat of a severe spanking if she every pulled a stunt like that again.

Leaving on a jet plane

The girls are getting very excited for our upcoming trip to Salt Lake. They were telling me all about how they were going to fly in an airplane and which stuffed animals they wanted to bring. Hopefully this flight will go better than last time, when we had to drag Eve kicking and screaming across the tarmac at JFK because she and Laine got in a fight over who got to wear the travelling backpack just as the boarding line called our group up. Thanks goodness for direct flights this time.

On Saturday the girls and I went on a special outing to the store to get notebooks for a new scientific endeavor. The girls will be cataloging in words and pictures the plants and animals they find in the woods behind our house. Laine so far has a caterpillar and a squirrel drawn in her notebook, and Eve drew a flower but somehow it ended up on a loose paper on the desk instead of in her special notebook that we just got for her to draw it in. The drawing took about 5 minutes. Then they got bored of drawing and played with the gravel next to the back porch for about 3 hours. Sometimes it's tough to tell what will keep their attention.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing all our friends and family in Salt Lake this weekend. See you there.

Roald Dahl Delights Next Generation of Bradleys

Growing up, all of Roald Dahl's books were treasures for both Chris and I. We're so happy to see our favorite books from childhood being enjoyed by our kids. And check out Eve's awesome reading skills. She's 3!Yesterday, we decided to have a picnic dinner at the playground of the elementary school that Laine will be attending this fall. It was also Eve's half birthday. We normally don't do half birthday, but it was a special day because of Laine's kindergarten orientation and stuff, so the kids all got special hero capes.Super Laine ran all over the place trying out her new powers.
Umm, don't mind me, Mom! Just sneaking bites of your sandwich while you take pictures of my superhero sisters.